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The love of my life <3
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Change is good!
I have to admit, in the three years that I've been with Ron...I've tried to do a LOT of changing. Not because he needed or wanted me to, but because I wanted me to. I was in such a horrible relationship and was miserable for so long, I didn't like the person I turned into. I am a very shy person and will tolerate just about anything before I really speak my mind. Not terrible qualities I guess, but I think they've really taken their toll on me. During the course of my past relationship, I took a lot of crap and lost touch with a lot of my friends. Now I find myself out of my comfort zone, in a town where I don't know a lot of people. I've really been craving some female companionship lately. Some girls that I could hang out with, have some girls nights, go out dancing, etc. It's very hard for me because I'm very shy, so I don't usually put myself out there to form new friendships. That is why I've really been putting forth an effort to change. I really have been trying to let my guard down more and more. I really need to stop worrying what other people think, and stop worrying about looking stupid. Just recently, I began taking a zumba class with a co-worker of mine. It's definitely fun, it takes care of my need for exercise and my craving to dance all in one!! And I think it's a great way to start meeting some local ladies!! (LOL, that sounded a little predatory!?) Anyway, throwing caution to the wind and letting go of my inhibitions a little feels good. I don't need to go through life being shy and missing out on opportunities and I definitely don't need to let people walk all over me either! As Ayva prepares to enter Kindergarten, I think I might join the PTA...a great way to meet some local mommies!
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Hey girlfriend...Every time I have taken the Myers Briggs test, I have always tested right on the border between an introvert and an extrovert, always leaning to the introvert side...While I can choose to be the life of the party, making those personal connections and really focusing on one-on-one relationships takes some work! Any time you "let someone in," there's some PAIN involved, but from my experiences, it's a major GAIN!! My "besties" always formed initially with a slow approach, like 2 feral cats inching closer and closer, you know? I applaud you for putting yourself out there with your aerobics classes! You are killing 2 birds with 1 stone!!! There's a Jazzercise building not too far from me and they just hung the sign advertising "$75 for all of June, July, and August." Maybe you will be my muse in this regard??? I'm sure when you are the mom extraordinaire and the super-duper Alpha volunteer at Ayva's school, you'll forge some great companions and maybe schedule a few play groups for daughter AND mom!!
ReplyDeleteI have always been so thankful for my core group of girlfriends....I am pretty outgoing, but ONLY when I'm at a certain comfort level with a few people I know surrounding me...When I describe myself as "shy at heart", my friends crack up...But in my mind, I am always that little girl with the patches(lazy eyes, pre-surgery), afraid of the world... I was actually going to do a post on the positive female friendships that I've made....The one "rule" I got right!!!....You are going to mee ALOT of woman when Ayva goes to school....I think it's great that you are taking a zumba class...The baby steps are how we get ANYWHERE..I took a strip aerobics class with the girls at school (1 class)Inever realized how uncoordinated I was..(no clothes come off!)OMG!Steve wanted me to show him some of the dance "moves", but I declined-quite certain that if I did, he would NEVER find me attractive again-ha!....It's a shame that some of us blog friends live so far apart b/c wouldn't it be fun to meet for cocktails?!...
ReplyDeleteLyndsey, you would never guess from your posts that you are a shy person. Just the opposite! I am always impressed with the efforts people put forth to make a change in their life (whatever it is) because change isn't usually an easy thing - especially when it is not in our nature. I am sure all the positive stuff that results from your effort will build your confidence and bring about the change your working toward!
ReplyDeleteFor being as shy as you are, I really admire your willingness to open up and share for the purposes of this blog. You are obviously so down to Earth, compassionate and kind; you seem to have one of those people-gravitate-to-you type of personalities. Not that being shy is a fault, but I would have never guessed you weren't the outgoing life-of-the-party type. I think it's quite brave of you to admit and work on something about yourself that you're no longer happy with. I think (as with anything in life) the first step is acknowledging the problem. You're definitely on the right track to meeting people and opening up. Sometimes stepping outside of our comfort zone is the ONLY possible way to achieve the outcome we're hoping for. I think it was Einstein who said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.
ReplyDeleteWait! I totally didn't just mean to call you insane! ;-) LOL
It really is strange, and I guess "I" am a little hard to explain! In high school, I was class president, head cheerleader, prom queen...I really had a lot of friends...although all but a few, I have lost touch with because...they were not very good friends, not good people...those kind of catty, back-stabbing girls! I think it was people like that that really made me feel self-concious and afraid to be who I wanted to be. I feel like I have always lacked the backbone to really express myself and stick up for myslef in certain sitautions, although in others, I have no problem sticking up for what I believe in. I think it all just depends on the people I surround myself with...some people are just very good at preying on your insecurities and bringing out the worst in you while others make you feel very comfortable and able to be yourself. Maybe this was all a case in changing "who" I surround myself with, instead of "who" I am! Thanks girls for all the advice and support! *and Adrienne...whats a measely 3 1/2 hour drive, when it's for good company and cocktails!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah...and Jenn...no complaints here about the insanity comment..LOL! Actually...I loved the quote in Alice In Wonderland when Alice said to her father "Have I gone Mad?"...and he replied "I'm afraid so...but I'll tell you a secret, all the best people are?" LOL
ReplyDeleteThere are friends that we sometimes have to "weed" out because they are toxic in our lives....We have to surround ourselves with those who build us up, not tear us down..You're right, what's a measely 3 1/2 hours to meet with a friend! Chin, chin!
ReplyDeleteLyndsey, I think it is so funny that you mentioned that quote in Alice in Wonderland... we saw it in the theater and when we got out I wrote it down! LOL I guess we are still so much alike. I miss you a lot. I have actually been concerned that you are angry at me recently because I responded to an email and then you didn't reply... did something come off badly? I hope not. I love you to pieces. I hope we can get together soon. I missss you. Also... I just started a blog today! It is about the process of losing my mom (kind of a downer topic) but I am doing it with some other women who have lost their moms and think it might be therapeutic. :) http://amandakernahan.blogspot.com
ReplyDeletemiss you.
No way, Mandy! I have been so busy...Ayva has kept me running non-stop the past few weeks with dress-rehearsals, recitals, field trips and her birthday celebration at preschool! I feel like i don't have a minute to breathe! I love you too much for anything you do or say to get under my skin! I hope things look up for you soon...although it sounds like theyre already starting to!! You're going to LOVE bloggin...it's so therapuetic.
ReplyDelete